It Has Been Way Too Long!

I have not posted in a very long time. Shame on me! I guess I have been busier than I thought.

I would first like to let everyone know that my Advocare business is booming and I am so excited to officially have a team working with me! I am pushing myself every day. Growing, Talking, Teaching, Learning! I love this business and hope that one day it will satisfy every need I have.

Matt, hubbs, is gone with the army for two weeks, but I think he is having more fun than he is letting on. Since his unit is so far from our house, he is staying with a buddy. A buddy who has a boat. This means he gets to fish every day. Well, what should I say to that? I say, LIVE IT UP! We don't have a boat, so enjoy it while you can. Plus, if it makes the time more enjoyable, I can't complain.

I have had the ability to catch up with a few old friends lately, and I love that. I kind of miss being the social butterfly I once was. I like being a home body, but I also love living it up with friends.

Since my last post:

A ton of legendary people have passed away

I went to Georgia, saw my brother receive his MBA, met my new niece (amazingly adorable!)

One of my best friends got married

We celebrated Matt and Kaylee's birthdays

I have slept a bunch

Healing is the Feeling

I have not posted in a few weeks. I needed to give myself some time; some introspective learning. I have had a hard time getting past the death of Steve. It brought back memories of when my grandfather passed away, but it was different this time.

When my grandfather passed away, I was 13 years-old, I hadn't seen him in quite some time and did not have the relationship with him that I had so many years before. He and I were two peas in a pod for a long time, but due to family issues we were driven apart. I had no closure with my grandfather. Although, I was able to see him before he passed, we never got a chance to regain the closeness we had at one point in time. I felt a tremendous void from the moment I found out he was gone.

When Steve passed away, at nearly the same age as my grandfather, I was absolutely torn. I had only known Steve for 4 years, but I had grown incredibly close with his family. His grand daughter is my step-daughter, so I knew how she must've been feeling. Kaylee, my step-daughter, had a hard time grasping the reality of the situation at first, but came through this experience with grace, intelligence and love in her heart. I did not react the same way when I was 13, had experienced death before and lost my grandfather.

I have come to realize that while we lose many in our lives, we always have them in said lives. We tell stories of them, remember their advice and guidance and share their photos. This is the way we heal.

We are all in the healing phase, and I know it will take time. I am just so very glad I can be there for the people that need me.

I got to spend family time this weekend. It made me even that much more grateful for the things and the people that I have in my life.

My brother, sister-in-law and niece Reese!

Me, my granfather (RIP), and sister Andie Bee- I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

My niece Emma! Look how big she has gotten!

My hubby!!

Kaylee and her momma!

Sweet Reilly boy!!

My momma and her namesake!

Steve, Rest in Peace! Love you always!

Joshua and Reese!

Me and my daddy!

It's a good life!

A Life May End, but Love Never Does!

I am experiencing grief this week. I am lucky to say it has been a while since I have lost a loved one this way.

I am in deep sadness for my friends Casey and Shannon Morrow, as well as my step daughter, Kaylee (Casey Morrow's Daughter). Steve Morrow, Casey and Shannon's father, passed away yesterday. He was one of the kindest people I had ever met. From the day I met him, he invited me in to his home with open arms and an open heart. He passed these traits on to his girls, who have been an immense impact on me and my life. We are all extremely close and I would do anything for these people. He gave to everyone and never expected any thing in return. He loved his children and grandchildren with everything that he had and never hid his pride in his family.

I am going through this tough time, thanking God that I got to know this man. I am also eternally appreciative of the fact that I got to spend time with him the night before he passed.

I had skipped my normal Monday workout class due to a splitting head ache. This is not like me, I normally do not miss this class, but God was calling me to go home. Around 9:00pm, my best friend Heather invited me out for drinks, for a chance to catch up and relax. I almost said no, but decided to go and spend time with her. When I walked in to the bar, the first person that caught my eye was Steve. I was so excited to see him, and unbeknownst to Heather, darted right over to him to give him a big ole' hug. He is a great hugger, anyone that knows him, knows this. We chatted briefly, and off I went to sit with Heather. I will always remember his smile and how he could always help you feel better with either extremely good advice or a great joke.

A little time passed that evening then Steve came up to say goodnight. He was ready to go home for the evening, but didn't leave without coming to get one more hug. We had a really lovely and enjoyable conversation where he got to meet Heather for the first time. He told stories about his girls, his grandkids and cracked a few of those jokes I told you about. I had never said it to him before, but right when he left I told him "I love you and to be safe." He returned the kindness and  joked that he "only lives two blocks away."

I didn't sleep that night. I don't know why, but I couldn't sleep. Normally, I can't stay awake once I hit the bed.

The next morning on my way to work, I was informed that ambulences were outside Steve's house. I immediately burst in to tears, not even knowing the outcome. I kept saying "I told him to be safe, no way, I just saw him..." Over and over and over. I found out later that he had passed on and it created a void immediately.

He was kind, funny, loving and strong. He left behind a legacy of wonderful, strong, beautiful children and grandchildren and will be greatly missed. To him I am indebted. The gratitude I have for his love, openness and strength is immense and will never fade.

For Casey and Shannon: I will always be here for you in any capacity I can be. You are my friends, and I am lucky to have you. We are all praying for you, that God may wrap his hands around your hearts and give you the strength and understanding to get through this. For times that are bleak, lean on us, your friends and family and let us remove that burden on your heart.

My dear Kaylee- You have changed my life. You are the sweetest young girl I have ever known. I have no children of my own, but I am proud to call you my step-daughter. You are smart, loving and superbly beautiful. I know you don't completely understand what is going on right now, and that is ok. Your Papa loves you and is so proud of you. He lit up at the sound of your voice and couldnt help but smile when hearing your name. You were his favorite little girl, and we all know why.

I don't know how to put in to words the impact that this family has had on my life or how grateful I am for each and every one of them, but I hope they know how much I truly care.

Rest In Peace Steve Morrow- Your love and legacy will live forever. We love and miss you dearly!

With Great Intention

I hope everyone has enjoyed this week full of flowers, candy, food and hopefully my favorite topic- LOVE!

Most situations this week have dealt with breaking up, getting engaged, finding a hot romance, "singles awareness," and of course gift giving.

I am not going to sit here and rant about all of these things. It is typical to turn Valentine's Day in to more than what it should be. Society plays on every one's emotions by playing sappy lovey dovey commercials, encouraging couples to go above and beyond to make that one day special, and making sure you spend plenty of money in the process.

Why? Why do people do this to each other? Take the pressure off! When you set yourself up to make this day the most romantic day ever, or try to constantly out do one another you are set up for failure. For instance, a good friend of mine got engaged this weekend. He had everything planned out: out for breakfast, a day of shopping without complaining, then a dinner at a pristine establishment. What could have gone wrong, you ask? Well, with all his nerves swirling he left the ring in his jacket. This jacket was checked at the door of the restaurant. So he had to tell his girlfriend to wait, track down his coat, get the ring and then return to the table, thus leaving her by herself for almost 15 minutes.

So, why not take the pressure off? Why does everything have to be like it is seen in movies? I just don't get it. I am a woman and I love romance, but the crap on the silver screen isn't reality. Plans get messed up, love is messy in it's natural form. We just need to love and love endlessly without reservation. Otherwise, we can all try to be "Love Actually," "The Notebook," or "A Walk to Remember," until we realize that there is no one there to yell "cut" to make the fights end or "that's a wrap" when you hit a happy ending.

We all want to show love and be loved in return, that is why we put our selves out there and become vulnerable, but we should try to avoid as much disaster as possible, with great intentions!

Oh, It's THAT day!

Valentine's Day- There I said it. Never being a big fan of this holiday, I decided that I would no celebrate this year. I am a newly wed, and most people think... Oh, you HAVE to celebrate! Well, I don't want to. I definitely don't need chocolate, I am not a huge fan of having flowers, and I do not want to go out to eat in over crowded restaurants and eat overly priced food, while the restaurant puts on this V-day mask for a full 24 hours.

I am excited to stay home, eat delicious new york strip steaks with the hubby and enjoy our peaceful home. We eat steak every couple of weeks, so this isn't an indication of celebrating this day either. We have a special relationship and love each other very much, so I don't think we need to be any different today than we are every other day.

Everyone in the world should feel loved every day. I know that this isn't the case a lot of times, but I do feel this way. I may say I love you too much, to too many people, but I would rather say it too much than not enough. I don't want any of my friends or family to leave my life or this world and not know how much I love and adore them.

If you have friends and family that you care for, let them know. Say it, write it, but most importantly show it.

You are ALL my Valentines and I will extend this to ANYONE who needs reminding of how special and unique they are to the world. Spread love and kindness, the world will be better for it.

I hope wherever you are, you are safe, warm, happy, healthy and loved.

My valentines:

Me and my baby at La Duni! I love him!

Gift from my boss!! Very nice!

My sweet Niece- Emma CRAWLING!

Not steak, but delicious homemade meatballs!!! YUUMMMMMO

My wonderful brother and his look alike daughter! I love her so so so so much! REESE!!

The Love of Foods!

After further review, it has come to my attention that the Super Bowl no longer celebrates the things it used to: football, sports, betting or anything else having to do with the game. What did everyone look forward to and talk about afterward? Commercials, celebrities, performances, drinking, mess-ups and of course FOOD.

My favorite part was definitely the food. Not only do I enjoy the culinary tradition of finger foods and dipables, but I love actually preparing and cooking the food that everyone gets to stuff themselves with.

I made 2 items this year!

First: Four Cheese Stuffed Jalepenos-
Preheat oven to 350
Cut your jalepenos in half
Lay the out on a baking sheet
Clean out all of the seeds
Lay shredded pepperjack cheese in the center
Smear cream cheese over the pepperjack- holds the pepperjack in and provides the "glue" that holds it all together
Wrap 1/3 bacon strip around jalepeno and secure with a toothpick
Sprinkle shredded cheddar and american all over all of the stuffed jalepenos
Cook at 350 degrees for 20-23 minutes
FINAL RESULT?

Second, I went for the dipable category. I made my normal queso, but decided to change it up a little bit!

Queso with Spicy Italian Sausage

Fill large pot with water 3/4

Take smaller pot and put entire log of velveeta (diced) in this pot

Place smaller pot inside larger bot and turn burner on high

Add juice from Rotel can to the cheese so the cheese doesnt stick to the bottom of the pot

Uncase Spicy Italian Sausage to get ground sausage meat

Brown your sausage

Once Velveeta softens, add rotel and stir until creamy

Add sausage

Let simmer 10-15 minutes

Result:

Add schooner of Dos Equis for best results!

Other things that made me smile this weekend? M&Ms commercial!

Chicken Spaghetti with Vodka Sauce!!!

Smiling Gouda Doggie!

Gorgeous tree blooming in my front yard!

How Do I Sleep So Much?

I must be exhausted beyond belief. I slept far more than I planned to this weekend, but I think it really helped me. I took a nap at home for about 2 hours on Saturday, then I went over to my mother's house to hang out with her. When I got there, she was snuggled up on the couch with her adorabe cat, Reilly, and said she had been trying to take a nap. At first, I thought ok, well you nap, I will hang out around the house until you are ready to wake up. Then, as I got comfy in my own little chair, I fell asleep, too. We slept for another 2 hours. I was astonished, I knew I loved sleep, and had been lacking good rest due to my schedule, but I had no idea the human body would allow that much sleep.

We hung out for the next 4 hours and enjoyed conversation, food and of course, WINE! I absolutely love wine nights with my mommy. Such a great time to vent and relax. I spent all day Sunday cleaning, and getting myself and my household ready for the week... I don't like this weekly process, as it normally includes laundry, dishes, groceries and vaccuuming. AGH

I must relapse to Friday now, because it did not include the theme as listed above. Friday night I went out with my husband, Heather and Daniel. (Daniel-brother-in-law; Heather- Daniel's wife and really great friend). It was Heather's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We started out the evening at The Melting Pot in Addison. Food was actually much better than I had anticipated, and I really enjoyed the experience. I ate pretty heavily, but still felt good enough to move around. Our next stop was the bowling alley 300. Now 300 isn't youre typical bowling alley. They have a huge bar, arcade, pool tables, upscale cuisine, club music playing and TVs EVERYWHERE. I am NOT a good bowler, I try, but I am not very good. My hand-eye coordination has never been what I wanted it to be. I did enjoy watching everyone else play, however, I just don't think it is for me, and I much rather be a spectator.

We then decided to go out to a bar, after too much deliberation that was truly frustrating. We went to a place called Rocking Parrodise, Heather did not like or understand the name (tee hee), but it ended up being a pretty good time. Eventhough the band was difficult to listen too, and it wasn't our favorite establishment, we had fun, drank just enough and got to be there for our friend's birthday!

Side note: Running in to a good friend from middle/high school can sometimes be awkward. I ran in to a friend and got to chat with him for a bit, and it wasn't awkward or anything. Very nice!

It Takes Loving Deeply to Hate Deeply!

I read an interesting blog today. It spoke of a woman who has been married for 12 years. She, coincidentally, is from Texas. She wrote a letter to a book author. This letter was titled "I HATE MY HUSBAND!" The author explained that she gets letters like these all of the time. She continued an e-mail exchange trying to find out why this woman would say such a thing.

Turns out that her lusting for others, anger, uncomfortability and want to escape all stemmed from BOREDOM! Why do women get so bored, and do men equally get bored in this way? It turns out, YES! Everyone gets bored, but this feeling of hate comes because you love so much.

If you are hurt or upset by someone you don't care about, it is much easier to move on and not hold any hostility whatsoever. I find this very true. When people I barely know, or expect very little from me disappoint me, I may be angry for a short period of time, but tend to let it go quite quickly. Conversely, I get the most irritated when someone I love lets me down, hurts me or causes some sort of disruption in my life.

I am a person of passion and with immense love, comes immense ire. We are drawn to our "opposites" so to speak, but in reality it is the things you have in common that steer you toward success.

My husband and I grew up in a similar way; we each have 3 siblings, are from the DFW area, support our military and have separated parents. These things remind us of our dedication to family, and how important it is to be with your support system, and become a support system. We are however vastly different. He is an avid hunter and fisherman, love working outdoors, is great at cooking, already has one child and has a very volatile past. I on the other hand had a relatively simple past, don't hunt or fish very well or often, love working in doors, can't cook for crap and am scared to death of having children.

So how do we make these things work? We love, we fight, we string our life together with caution. Sometimes you have to look at everything in a different light, try and see things through other people's eyes.

I hope to never become bored. I hope to be in a life of constant change and growth. I know we all have our problems, but sometimes they can just be solved with love and compassion.

Leave a positive impact on those you encounter. You will make a difference!

Infinity is Open to Your Sight

I saw this quote today, while riding the train, and immediately I was perplexed. Can all people really see infinity, or is this a concept not grasped by all.


At first it didn't make much sense. Everyone has their own vision of said infinity, but some people are so limited in their scope that I didn't see how this could apply to everyone. There are people in this world with small minds, limited scope and minimal experience. People that never live in more than one town, or travel beyond their countries borders, and even more people only view the world through their own eyes, and are unyielding to the possibility of things not being the way they see it. Is that THEIR infinity then.


What is inifinite? Dictionary Definition: unlimited; immeasurable; unbounded;  having no limits or boundaries in time, space, extent, or magnitude.


So in this quote there is already contradiction, because sight is limited by what you allow youself to see. That could also be the exact meaning of this quote. If you allow yourself the experience to see limitless, boundless and exponential things, you are seeing what is infinite to you...


Okay, enough on that. I could go around in circles for hours about how that quote has changed my view on closed-mindedness; censorship and the like.


I had quite a weekend; spent a lot of it sleeping. I need to catch up on sleep during the weekends. My work week and workout schedule do not allow me to do much sleeping or even relaxing for that matter. Friday night I hit up the gym for an intense cardio workout, watched a little television, cuddled with my animals and went to bed. Uneventful, but exactly what I needed. Saturday, I did a little cleaning, walked my dog and then took a nap. Saturday night was date night for me and the hubbs. Off to Andiamo's (little Italian place in Addison with exquisite food) where we enjoyed huge, stiff cocktails, amazing baked clams, and a delectable lobster bisque. The entrees were not as impressive. Both were over salted, mine so much so that I returned it. Matt's seafood linguine (or whatever they called it) was very good, lobster, clams and crab cooked to perfection, but again the sauce was salty.


Sunday started off pretty good. Trip to the grocery store went smoothly, but trying to find dinner side items that aren't starchy or sugary is a little trying. Then, however the day seemed to take a turn for the worse. An argument began to brew between Matt and I, how it started I cannot even recall (can anyone ever really remember), but it was a blow out. A lot of things were said that probably shouldn't have been. I think arguments truly need a mute button. It is not good to be so hurtful to someone you love. I have grown up biting my tongue and trying my best not to insult people because I know once words are said, you cannot take them back. There is no rewind or magic eraser.


The great thing about this argument was that we got through it. We made it safely back to a hug and agreed to better our relationship and grow ourselves. We have a long way to go, but there is a lot of love there.

My how we have changed!

I hope everyone can experience a lot of love. It hurts and sucks and is amazing all at once.

To Be Honest

There are different types of honesty. Can we agree on that? There is the whole truth, the half truth, partial truths and then attempted truth.

Whole truth- I dont think this is reasonable to expect from anyone. When it comes to telling a story, you will never hear all the details, but who really wants all the extra any way. Most people look for short, immediate, precise news. The whole truth would not only include all the details, but an unbiased opinion... Almost impossible to find!

Half truth/Partial Truth- I will put these in the same category. You will get these most of the time. We have heard it a thousand times; there are always three truths- Person #1's truth, Person #2's truth and then the real story. That is because most people tell a truth that sounds good in their head. They can do this by adding attitude or slanting words to a conversation they had, emphasizing certain parts of a story or changing words here and there to fit the point they are trying to make.

Attempted Truth- This to me is what a lot of people do, and end up setting themselves up for failure. Telling people things like- I will be here by a certain time, or have this done by a certain time; setting themselves up and someone else up for an expectation- when this expectation is not met, you have failed them; which, in a way, is lying.

Anyway, most people struggle with the truth, in one way or another, This, however, is not abnormal these days. Noone seems to know fact from fiction, and will believe nearly everything they see.

I hope to have honest eyes, thoughts and words.

Holidays Are Over! Do YOU still feel loved?

Okay, so it came to my attention (by way of social networking) that people are pleased with themselves if they can do a couple of things...
1. Write a very sweet holiday message to all of their friends at once
2. Get together for nostalgic holiday traditions with family; or old friends will suffice
3. Make one, if not a dozen, new years resolutions (GUILTY)
4. Suggest that others do better for themselves
5. Make fun of themselves in spite of actual humiliation

I have done a few of these things myself, but have noticed that much of that happy, loving spirit has already died, and it is only 3 days in to the New Year! This can't be right. Are we really such a jaded/angry world out there? I know there are plenty of negatives in the world, but shouldn't there be an all around sense for love and compassion between people?

Okay, I am a little crazt. I guess because deep down I love people, want the best for myself and others, and honestly try not to always put myself first. What a phenomenon. Maybe it will catch on... However, I fear the opposite will happen. People will continue to distance themselves from love, honesty and true connection.

How do we become cohesive, anyway? Are we supposed to be cohesive as a human race, or is it better to show discrepency, dissonance and indifference in some cases? I probably won't find all the answers to these questions, but I think I am ok with that.

Here are a few things that make me happy for the time being- I will try to keep my holiday cheer all year round.

Nieces!!! Reese on the left! Emma on the Right!!!! I am the luckiest Aunt EVER!

Homemade Christmas Deserts!! (I told you I would use berries of some sort!)

Puppies New and Old!! Jessie Jane (above) family dog since I was about 12

New puppies Tank (I shall call him Doug) and Cleo (named after me- Casey Leigh) these are my Dad's new great dane pups that I cannot WAIT to meet

And of course- HOLIDAY NUTCRACKERS in the staircase... Don't know why, but they make me smile!