We Should All Feel Loved: March 2012

I have not posted in a few weeks. I needed to give myself some time; some introspective learning. I have had a hard time getting past the death of Steve. It brought back memories of when my grandfather passed away, but it was different this time.

When my grandfather passed away, I was 13 years-old, I hadn't seen him in quite some time and did not have the relationship with him that I had so many years before. He and I were two peas in a pod for a long time, but due to family issues we were driven apart. I had no closure with my grandfather. Although, I was able to see him before he passed, we never got a chance to regain the closeness we had at one point in time. I felt a tremendous void from the moment I found out he was gone.

When Steve passed away, at nearly the same age as my grandfather, I was absolutely torn. I had only known Steve for 4 years, but I had grown incredibly close with his family. His grand daughter is my step-daughter, so I knew how she must've been feeling. Kaylee, my step-daughter, had a hard time grasping the reality of the situation at first, but came through this experience with grace, intelligence and love in her heart. I did not react the same way when I was 13, had experienced death before and lost my grandfather.

I have come to realize that while we lose many in our lives, we always have them in said lives. We tell stories of them, remember their advice and guidance and share their photos. This is the way we heal.

We are all in the healing phase, and I know it will take time. I am just so very glad I can be there for the people that need me.

I got to spend family time this weekend. It made me even that much more grateful for the things and the people that I have in my life.

My brother, sister-in-law and niece Reese!